The Portrait Of A 3rd Grade Football Junkie

The year was 1989 and I distinctly remember not talking to my mother for a week. I was grounded and it was my holy day……..Saturday. I don’t know how or why but as a young 3rd grader I already had caught the disease that leads me to write this blog some 19 years later the love of football. College football had me like crack on the first hit for life. I was a junkie that loved Oklahoma, Colorado, Nebraska, Notre Dame and Miami with the same love a father penguin nestles his egg in the Antarctic winter. The reason for this deadly serious quiet game was because I was pissed off royally. I was grounded because of my conviction on a trumped up family misdemeanor, which meant TV was out of the question for at least a week. Therefore, communication was out of the question as well. 

Back Then, Darien Hagan was my favorite player and Colorado, as is still the truth today, is my favorite team. Oklahoma was and still is a very close second. I only rooted for Nebraska because they were in the Big Eight conference(now the Big 12 for you youngins). While most kids could not wait for Saturday because of the early morning cartoons, I could not wait for Saturday because I was going to get a fix via CBS and ABC (no ESPN in the old days due to family budgeting “constraints”) in conjunction with the old CFA. 

Football was all I gave a damn about; I would regularly throughout the week hold a press conference in order to commit to the school I thought deserved my services as a 7 year old dual threat qb/tb/wr/de/hard hitting safety. This was all real in my mind but hell I was only 7 so why not. I could recite members of all the current BCS conferences by memory and at this point knew nothing of the educational benefits that college provided…..lol. I just was a football nut. Through the years I left old flings and found new ones such as Washington, Michigan, FSU, Texas A&m, and Arkansas. What teams I liked really is not the topic, the topic here is that I found my drug at an early age. I recall crying when Kordell Stewart threw his magical bomb at the Big House to beat Michigan at the last second. I was then and still am very passionate about Buffs football did I mention that already? Me and my dad broke the couch celebrating after the 1990 Oklahoma-Nebraska game where Oklahoma blew out the Huskers at home behind the strength of my cousin Dewell Brewer at tailback. I have watched every national title game since 1990 mostly Orange bowls and Sugar bowls as I recall from my elephant like memory. I remember the Southwest conference and long forgotten independents such as penn state, South Carolina and Miami. 

What I won’t forget is how much I love football and how much fun I have had through the years dissecting this tradition filled game. You can find me on Autumn Saturdays being the junkie I am. I’m sure in the future, I'll see a Football Bowl Subdivision, formerly Division 1-A, playoff with a true national champion instead of a mythical one. I’m sure ill see a three-time Heisman trophy winner. I’m sure ill see Notre dame join the Big Ten. I’m sure ill see my ass grow fat and fancy til the day I die watching college football from 10am until the late Pac-10 game nobody cares about because I'm a veteran even at age 26 and its what I was born to do ………..period

Crack head Clayborne

Whatever Happened to?

The names have not been changed to protect the guilty. Let the record reflect no recent memory of the names that will be used in this article. This is not a deep intellectual attempt to provoke thought. This is an attempt to find the careers of the named that are guilty for disappearing. Furthermore, some names will be left out simply because of the sheer multitude of players that are indeed apart of this category. 

Let the games or the lack thereof begin. Whatever Happened to Amp Lee of FSU, David Klingler of Houston, Eddie George of Ohio State, Tommy Frazier of Nebraska, Gino Torreta of The U, Charlie Ward of FSU, Andy Katenzmoyer of Ohio State, Danny Wuerffel of Florida, Byron Hanspard of Texas Tech, Steve Etman of Washington, Rashaan Salaam of Colorado Garrick McGee of Oklahoma, Pete Marinovich of USC, Scott Frost of Nebraska, Deion Figures of Colorado, James “Little Man” Stewart of Tennessee, Michael Bishop of Kansas State, Kordell Stewart of Colorado, Hannibal Navies of Colorado, Jay Barker of Alabama, David Palmer of Alabama, Garrison Hearst of Georgia, Sir Parker of Texas A&M, Rocket Ishmail of Notre Dame, Jamar Toombs of Texas A&M, Kwame Kavil of  Texas, Ben Hanks of Florida, Marcus Vick of Virginia Tech, Russell Maryland of Miami, Calvin Jackson of Nebraska, Terrell Buckley of FSU, Marvin Jones of FSU , Alfred Williams of Colorado, Tim Biakabiatuka of Michigan, Napoleon Kaufman of Washington, Tyrone Wheatley of Michigan, Tee Martin of Tennessee, and last but not least DeMond Parker of Oklahoma.

The point of this article is not to tease or ridicule the great work of these formers football stars. The purpose is only to figure out “what happened and why.” If anybody has any tips, leads, or answers please don’t hesitate to call six magazine, crime stoppers, or unsolved mysteries.

Peace Cream of Wheat Clayborne

A.D. VS. RUN DMC

AD VS. RUN DMC

A boy once asked his mother,

“Who do you love more me or my sister?” 

The mother replied, “I love you both equally, now go to sleep.” 

There are some questions that you just do not know the answer to. When making the comparison between Adrian Peterson and Darren McFadden there is no clear-cut winner as far as who is the better back. The purpose of this article “was” to ascertain who is better A.D (Peterson) or Run DMC (McFadden), yet after some research and soul searching I cannot make an educated decision as to who is better. The only clear difference between the two is the fact A.D. had on of the best rookie years in NFL history rushing for 1,341 yards in his rookie campaign. Here is a table outlining how close the comparison is between the two backs.


Adrian Peterson

Hometown: Palestine, Texas
College: Oklahoma
Height: 6’1”
Weight: 217 Lbs.
Collegiate Rushing Yards: 4,045
Combine 40 Time: 4.33



Darren McFadden

Hometown: Little Rock, Arkansas
College: Arkansas
Height: 6’2”
Weight: 205
Collegiate Rushing Yards: 4.590
Combine 40 Time: 4.27

A.D. was drafted with the 7th pick overall in the 2007 draft and McFadden was drafted 5th overall in the 2008 draft. Peterson is a more physical back who punishes opponents. McFadden is more of a speed back that uses finesse in order to gain yardage. However, do not doubt the physicality of Run DMC when “packing the rock.” Both tailbacks have elite speed for their size. These two prototype backs are part of an overall movement in college football and the NFL towards bigger backs such P.J. Hill at Wisconsin, Brandon Jacobs of the New York Football Giants and, Chris Brown of the Houston Texas are just a few examples of the newest rage in football the Big Back. 

Peterson and McFadden both were the elite backs in college and Peterson has proved elite at the next level while the jury on McFadden begins deliberations this September. Peterson was the runner-up for the Heisman as a true freshman in 2004.  He was the only freshman in history to come in second in the race for the prestigious award. McFadden won the Doak Walker award twice both in 2006 and 2007. I could go on and on for years with comparisons between the two, but the more you look the more you realize that they are mirror images of each other no matter how you try to break down the argument of who is better. It will be interesting to see how McFadden does in his rookie year with the Oakland Raiders and for that matter how Peterson fairs as the hunted after a stellar rookie campaign with the Minnesota Vikings. 

The ending base assumption by this author is that the two are long lost twins who became separated at birth in the year 1236. Both are invincible and will live forever similarly to Hancock. The only clear separation between the two is the success in the first year of the pros for Peterson. I must think aloud that after his upcoming rookie campaign, that RUN DMC will make the comparison even tougher by achieving similar(which has been a recurring theme for this article) success posting around 1,400 yards this year with the Raiders. 

Peace, Young Linas